Monday, May 7, 2012

Journalism is Nothing but Storytelling

Sex and storytelling are the oldest and still the most popular forms of human recreation. The storytelling format may have changed over the millenia, but even with our video cameras and websites we're still sitting in the marketplace, talking about how the demon is creeping up on the hero from behind and.... and.... and my assistant will pass among you with a hat so that I can buy a little something to lubricate my dusty throat before I continue. 

Another day the tale might be of Far Cathay or Warshunton Deecee, where mandarins eat steak while lissome maidens massage their nether regions and power crackles in the air the way lightning does in fabled Okra Homa, where the wind is so brilliant that it shines brightly on the plain.


The inverted pyramid story form should have been abandoned the day after the Linotype machine got replaced by a Compugraphics 9000, but it wasn't. 

Storytelling has colorful descriptions, and uses the traditional form of starting at the beginning and moving steadily toward THE END, with perhaps a few detours along the way to talk about how the Mountain Folk of Scots Verginya distill the uisge that makes them so fearless in battle. But the main elements, despite side, front, and rear bars, are a BEGINNING, a MIDDLE, and an END.

Sex and storytelling: Our human heritage since the days when we were little tribes huddled around campfires with the Scary Animals growling in the dark. 

And the best stories of all? The ones about sex, of course. Sex is not only great material, but for men who are too nearsighted to be great hunters, telling stories is a great way to get sex. 

(I am nearsighted, 59, plump and lazy, unathletic, and a long-time Internet junkie. Despite these handicaps I have a beautiful wife, so I am  writing what I know about WIMMINS instead of making things up. Phht..)  

This essay is a response to FUNGIBLE, by Stijn Debrouwere

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