Friday, May 25, 2012
A Republican fantasy of American life in 2018
Work harder, toddlers! Solder that connection! tote that bale! Be glad you pay lots of taxes so that your factory owner millionaire boss can keep his taxes down so he can afford smuggled Cuban cigars and to have his Rolls-Borghini limousine waxed every day.
You! Granny! Faster! Faster! Faster! You're only 80. Do your part to make your boss richer. Be a patriot. No Social Security or Medicare, just work work work. Get sick? Too bad. Limp over to the hospital, join the people already sitting on the curb there waiting for help that never comes. The body wagon will pick you up when you're dead. Maybe even a little sooner. Your children will get a bill for your burial. Don't worry about a thing. We won't let you waste scarce resources!
Now you. Middle class? What year do you think this is? 1995? You're evicted. Yes, I know your pay was cut to $2.10 per hour, but there are lots of programmers in China so you should consider yourself lucky to earn any money at all -- and that you only pay $1 of that $2.10 in FICA and income tax. If we cut your taxes, your boss might have to keep his 140' yacht another year instead of having a new 160' one built in Hong Kong. So go to Sports Authority, a company founded partly with Bain money, and buy a tent. And be glad we got you that 15% discount.
The main thing is, quit whining. This is America, the land of the free and the brave, and you are a debt slave and a coward so it's not your country no matter how loud you sing "This land was made for you and me." See, peasant. It was made for me. Not for you. So finish moving your family into your new tent and be at work bright and early tomorrow. You'd BETTER be there or you will be replaced. There are plenty of people in China and here who would love to have $2.10 an hour coming in, not to mention a whole half-day off every week.
Damn peasants.... if it isn't one complaint it's another... I hate their damn class warfare rhetoric. I am a benevolent master. I take good care of them, get them discounts on tents and surplus food and everything else they need. And are they grateful? No! They're spiteful, and they're hateful.