John Jacob, a Utah (Republican) businessman running for Congress against (Republican) Rep. Chris Cannon in the upcoming primary, says Satan is working against his candidacy. Quote from an interview with the Salt Lake Tribune:

“There’s another force that wants to keep us from going to Washington, D.C.,” Jacob said. “It’s the devil is what it is. I don’t want you to print that, but it feels like that’s what it is.”

Umm… okay. It looks like incumbent Cannon pursues a pretty Godly agenda. He voted to kill the Dynasty Tax, which means he dislikes work and loves “something for nothing” people (as long as they’re rich); thinks his marriage is so weak that homosexuals getting married will destroy it; and generally is in favor of everything Satan is against — at least if God is a worker-hating Republican and Satan is a patriotic American.

Personally, I think candidate Jacob ought to stop blaming Satan for his trouble and take a cue from the Florida mayor who kicked Satan out of town instead of whining about him.

(Another possibility is that Satan is in league with Bush, Rove, and other right-wing Republicans, at least according to a Wonkette blurb, which might be why he’s pissed at someone challenging a Republican incumbent.)

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 27th, 2006 at 4:10 pm and is filed under Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.