Presumptive Soil
John Kerry is called “the presumptive Democratic nominee” daily in our nation’s newspapers. “Iraqi soil” is what we fight over, while troops returning from Iraq are always glad to be back on “American soil.” These phrases have been used too often. They have become trite. It is time for us to find replacements for them.
Even William Safire, who has made half a career out of defending proper English writing, used the phrase, “the presumptive Democratic nominee,” in a recent column. Can’t Mr. Safire whip out a thesaurus and find synonyms for “presumptive?” They need not be great synonyms, just ones that can be substituted for “presumptive” often enough to break the monotony. “Likely Democratic nominee” does not sound brilliant, but in pages otherwise full of “presumptive” nominees it would be a welcome relief.
An innovative writer who is not worried about word counts might describe Mr. Kerry as, “the Democratic nominee unless he is caught having gay orgy sex with squirrels between now and the Democratic convention.” A less-wordy writer might chose, “Democratic nominee in all but name.”
“Nominee-in-waiting” might be technically accurate, but calls up a vision of “ladies in waiting,” who will never be the Queen or Princess no matter how hard they try.
There are surely many other phrases that can replace the overused “presumptive Democratic presidential nominee.” If writers can’t think them up, copy editors should. Or does anyone still employ copy editors?
Dirty Soil
Whenever I hear “American soil” my mind translates it into “American dirt.” (And when it’s raining outside I sometimes think of “American mud.”) And then, more often than not, the people who are supposedly standing on “American soil” (or Iraqi soil or French soil or the dirt of whatever country is under discussion) are standing on cement, marble, carpet, parquet wood floors or other surfaces that are obviously not dirt, so the word “soil” as it is used by politicians and newsies in this context is not only trite but inaccurate.
“Ground” would be a decent replacement for “soil.” So would many other fine words.
Keeping Readers Interested
When I first started writing non-fiction for money, an editor told me, “The definition of a good writer is someone who can make a description of a blank white wall interesting enough that people will want to read it.”
I have never forgotten that advice. Sadly, many others have either forgotten it or never heard it in the first place. Journalistic writing, at its best, is worth reading even if you have no interest in the subject matter. At its worst, it is boring even when you find a story’s topic compelling.
Presumptive journalists need to learn that they soil their reputations every time an article that appears under their byline bores readers, and a publication’s reputation becomes equally soiled when its editors allow lackluster writing to dirty its pages.