I don’t get many telemarketing calls. I’m on every “do not call” list in existence, plus I use a Verizon service that intercepts phone calls from numbers with Caller ID disabled. But this call had a legitimate-looking number and name — “Intel Gateway, 538-6316″ attached to it, and since I write about technology and often get calls from tech firm PR people, I picked up. A heavily-accented voice asked me how I was today. “Marvelous,” I said.
Voice: “I’m (probably fake) (name) from First Federal Financial, and I can help you pay off all your unsecured debt, like credit card bills and medical expenses.”
Me: “Great! Give me your address. I’ll send them all to you and you can pay them.”
Voice: “Do you think I am joking?”
Me: “No, I’m just taking you up on your offer.”
Voice: “I do not have to put up with people like you.” (hangs up)
Well, no, you don’t. And a good way not to put up with people like me is to not call us with unwanted offers in the first place. Sheesh!
PS - I called the number back and got a “this number is no longer in service” recording. Double-sheesh!
roblimo | Humor, Politics | Monday, March 10th, 2008
FANTASYLAND, USA — During a press conference held earlier today, presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton invited (soon to be former) New York Governor Eliot Spitzer to run as vice president on her ticket.
“I am totally comfortable with this man in a way I am not comfortable with other potential vice presidents,” Clinton told all three assembler reporters. “Maybe it’s because he reminds me of my husband Bill.”
One reporter asked if Clinton was sure Spitzer was a Democrat. Although he claims membership in the Democratic Party, the reporter pointed out, it is usually Republicans who get caught up in sex scandals.
“Well, plenty of people accused Bill of being a secret Republican, too,” Clinton retorted. “And I was once a Republican myself. Deal with it, chumps.”
Our local papers tend to run articles about once a month that say housing prices have bottomed out, so you should buy now instead of waiting. This Sarasota Herald-Tribune piece quotes local builder Lee Wetherington, who says his sales prices are 25% lower than in 2005, that building costs are going up, and new homes are a better value than “resale” houses. And no, this article is not an ad, even though it reads like one. It carries the byline of respected Herald-Tribune staffer Stephen Frater, which means it’s a jen-you-wine news-type article even though it consists entirely of quotes from a single, self-serving source.
What about this photo (above)? It’s obviously Hillary Clinton wearing an Abaya, the head-to toe “black garbage bag with eyeslits” garment devout Muslim
women wear when they’re out in public.
Do you want to see a president who is a secret Muslim? One who subjugates herself to her man no matter how badly he misbehaves? Who kisses up to America’s enemies and rejects the shorts and t-shirts that regular all-American women wear most of the time (at least here in Florida)?
As a patriot, I want a president who holds our traditions dear. I want one who drinks, cusses, and does other things devout Muslims never do.
Muslims don’t even eat pork. What kind of American president would turn up her nose at a savory pile of barbequed spare ribs? A secret Muslim one, that’s who!
A friend pointed out that this might not be Hillary Clinton, but some other woman. It’s hard to tell under all that black fabric. But I maintain that if this is really some other woman, it’s even worse. If Hillary Clinton has someone else wearing an abaya for her, what is she
hiding? Something worse than her secret Muslim faith?
Hillary is not alone!
Don’t think we’re anti-Clinton around here, because we’re not. She’s not the only candidate who has a dirty religious secret. John McCain is almost certainly a voodoo priest, says an informant who doesn’t want his name used due to fear of retaliation. Indeed, it is rumored that the nasty voodoo priest in the graphic novel Undead Evil is based on John McCain’s life story — or at least that part of his life that started when he died back in 1987 and was resurrected by a secret group of Navy witch doctors with connections to the former Soviet Union’s KGB.
roblimo | Humor, Politics | Wednesday, January 30th, 2008
BRADENTON, FLORIDA — With 100% of all Florida ballots counted, insurgent Republican candidate Ron Paul captured a whopping 3% of primary votes here, while rivals Tom Tancredo, Duncan Hunter, and Alan Keyes each scored a statistical 0%. This victory proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Ron Paul has what it takes to become the next Republican presidential candidate. To top off his victory, Paul also beat former candidate Fred Thompson, who got a mere 1% of the Florida vote. (more…)
roblimo | Humor, Stories | Friday, January 25th, 2008
I’ve been mixing rum and cranberry juice together for decades, and it’s not exactly an original idea. What shocks me is that no one had come up with a name for this tasty drink. So I did: the Yankee Pirate. (more…)
I’ve decided that if someone wears more makeup on-camera than to go to the supermarket, he or she is an actor or “TV personality,” not a reporter, and that any show featuring that person is, therefore, entertainment instead of news. I think a lot of people instinctively realize that special TV lighting and makeup create false images, and that this is a major reason so many of us have trouble taking TV ‘news’ seriously.
The most popular person in the ‘Spin Room’ (open interview area) after the show was broadcast wasn’t any of the candidates. It was Chuck Norris, who was there to boost his friend Mike Huckabee. Chris ‘Pudge’ Nandor didn’t draw as much attention as Chuck, but he got a good amount — and since he has a beard, just like Chuck, he obviously deserved it, and then some!
This is a really old “test” video I forgot about. Yes, it’s the blogosphere, live on Roblimo.com, in all its blogospheric glory. Now, at last, you know what the blogosphere looks and sounds like. Cute, isn’t it?
Florida politics are great fun. In this insignificant story, a neighbor of mine named Bill Johnson decided to run for mayor. No money… no poltical experience… but what the heck. He got around 12% of the vote, which meant that neither incumbent mayor Wayne Poston, with about 46%, or pre-Poston mayor Bill Evers (who has already lost to Poston twice but may figure the third times' a charm) got a majority.
Runoff time!
Bill Johnson milked his moment of fame for all it was worth, delaying his endorsement first one day, then two. Friday, November 9, 2007, he finally held a press conference that drew a couple of print reporters and a cameraman from cable TV's "Bay News 9" but no one from our one hyperlocal broadast TV station, Channel 7 in Sarasota.
Oh, well. Bill Johnson read his prepared statement, the Bradenton Herald reporter dutifully talked with endorsee Bill Evers, who mostly whined about how the Mean Ol’ Herald beats up on him all the time. And Poston supporter Janean Martin had some words to say, too.
This video is 9 minutes of local politics, Bradenton style. At least our (male) state representatives haven't been caught trying to pick up a male undercover cop in a public bathroom like the one over in Merritt Island.
