I swear, these modern “family values” people are too silly for words. Take that Mark Sanford guy, for example. He claims to be some sort of conservative, but when it comes to marriage he obviously has some new-fangled, heretical beliefs. I mean, what’s the traditional, 100% God-sanctioned method of dealing with lust? You marry her, right? If you already have a wife, no problem. The new honey becomes your Junior Wife and the one you already had is now Senior Wife.
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ROBLIMO NEWS NETWORK — According to a source whose name can’t be used because the Republican National Committee wants us to believe members of the GOP (Grand Obsolete Party) are all hip-hop-loving metrosexual swingers with South American girlfriends, and also enjoy orgies with teenage male Congressional pages, a highly-placed Republican official has supposedly admitted being not only straight, but also happily and faithfully married.

Efforts to track down this paragon have been unsuccessful so far, but Huffington Post reporters are frantically searching for him. One told us, “It’s only a matter of time until we find him,” and pointed out that it’s almost always a “family values thunderer or most conservative yahoo” who is caught with a hooker, underage boy, campaign worker’s wife or Argentine honey-babe, “which narrows the field considerably.”

myspace.com/ryeroad = the band’s main page. Check ‘em out!

More info at littlemanateekayaking.com - Join Captain Jim Flynn and a group of four friends as they float down the Little Manatee River near Ruskin, Florida. This is kayaking the way it’s meant to be: no pressure, no hurry, lots of scenic beauty.

Florida’s economy relies heavily on retirement, and local real estate yappers constantly tell us property values here will “recover” because any day now 42 zillion boomers will start booming down I-75 and I-95 to retire here.

Boom! Boom! Boom!
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ComCenter at Lakewood Ranch - http://comcenters.net - hosts shows by local artists curated by ArtCenter Manatee - http://artcentermanatee.org - that change every other month. Open to the public? Of course! Please stop by.

Louisiana Senator David Vitter (R-Kinky Sex) seems to have decided that the best way to get FEMA to finish its WAY-too-long-delayed Louisiana post-Katrina rebuilding is to keep FEMA from finally having a competent director. Obama’s FEMA nominee, Craig Fugate, whose appointment Vitter is delaying, is currently director of Florida’s Department of Emergency Management. He was appointed to this post in 2001 by Governor Jeb Bush, one of America’s most richie-loving, worker-hating Republicans, and was reappointed by Charlie Crist, who is also a registered Republican.
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Here’s a scenario: two of my squadmates have just been killed by snipers. We’ve captured three of the enemy, and we believe they can tell us where the entrances to their cave and tunnel complexes are, but they refuse, and remind us that under our military rules, we can only ask them for their names, ranks, and serial numbers. And they laugh. Would I bang one of the captives across the jaw with a rifle butt? You bet. I might even kill one of them so the others could see I was serious, then start asking questions again. Would I be wrong to do this? Likely. I might even get court martialed later. But I’d still do it.

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We heard the music from our carport, 2 blocks away, and decided to slide over to Hooter’s and see what was going on. Turned out it was Rye Road — myspace.com/ryeroad — playing a bunch of pretty good country covers and a few nice original songs. Had the little Sony A1U video camera in the car, so I grabbed some fast shots.

Sort of a “draft” for a Firefox commercial. Roughly done, more as a training exercise than for any other reason.